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Wanted
This pyramid is useful in solving the problem of disposing radioactive and dangerous chemical and biological waste.
By Kevin O'Flynn
Published: May 8, 2008
It is easy to forget about the pyramid outside Moscow. If you don't travel along the Moscow-Riga road, then you might not know about the 44-meter structure.
Nine years ago, pyramid builder Alexander Golod, a decidedly obsessed businessman, promised that the pyramids could help end wars and cure disease.
Things don't seem to be going his way yet, although I haven't -- tfu, tfu, tfu -- caught tuberculosis or seen invading troops (apart from those tanks on the street this week) since that visit to the pyramid.
Back then, the whole thing was in a raw, somewhat ramshackle form. Now they have a web site, www.abo.ru, which offers to build you your own personal pyramid -- 5.5, 11 or 22 meters high -- and touts tours to the pyramid in an advert in Komsomolskaya Pravda.
The pyramid now apparently also improves data transfer speeds in the area and helps fight alcohol and drug addiction.
A series of experiments conducted by institutes with the word imena in their title -- always a reputable sign -- are listed showing how seeds grow longer after a pyramid sojourn and oil output rises.
They claim that Gazprom, gas energy giant on the surface but underneath obviously just a daffy, superstitious company, ordered two pyramids to solve ecological problems near a gas field.
More interesting is the claim that the pyramid is useful in solving the problem of disposing of radioactive and dangerous chemical and biological waste. They do not say whether the waste is under the pyramid right now.
"It cures the area around you and you," said Yekaterina at the pyramid hotline, even though she admitted that she had only been under a square, and perhaps the odd rectangle in her lifetime.
However, her lack of experience with three-dimensional structures of a quadrilateral form was no hindrance to her waxing eloquent about the positive qualities of a visit.
Golod's pyramid may not be Russia's biggest for very long. The architect Norman Foster wants to build a huge pyramid in the south of Moscow, although unlike Golod, he will expect people to live inside it all the time. It will almost certainly not be able to fight disease or stop wars.
Copyright © 2008 The Moscow Times. All rights reserved.
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May 8 - 15, 2008 
